I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
my sisters under your porch take her home
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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