I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
