Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
