So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
