oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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