I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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