Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
