too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
