BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
