so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
