so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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