she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
