Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
