never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
