I can't watch pbs sober anymore
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
