I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
