so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
