so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
