you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
