i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
