Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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