wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
