He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
