first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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