I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It was like getting head from an anaconda
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
