I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize