i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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