can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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