Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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