i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
