i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
