I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
