how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
