New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Randomize
