We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
