i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
