i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
