Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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