I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
