i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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