Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
