Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
