You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
