Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
