cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
