First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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