he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
