I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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