After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
