i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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